Looking to elope or have a micro-wedding? Here's some expert advice from 3 local pros!
Lana and Richard on their elopement at Mount Tamalpais.
During the past few weeks, we’ve been taking some time to chat with our fellow wedding professionals, and we’ve been reimagining future wedding trends! Many couples might opt to have small wedding ceremonies with a larger party later in time, or some may simply choose to elope. We’ve asked three of our favorite vendors for advice on small weddings and elopements… and here’s what they have to say!
We want it to be known: we love weddings of every shape and size! From elopements on a mountain top, to full all-night-long dance parties, every wedding is special and we are just so in love with our couples. We are looking forward to celebrating your wedding, however it unfolds, and suppling you with unforgettable photos of the day.
Elopements hold a special place in our heart because of the intimacy of the ceremony. Sometimes it is just one of us and our couple, and we end up signing as one of their witnesses! We feel so fortunate that our couples choose us to photograph their very meaningful ceremony. The photos afterwards are what they share with their families and friends, so our role is to spread the joy and happiness of their day to those who weren’t present.
So with that being said, here’s some words of wisdom from some very knowledgable professionals we’ve worked with over the years:
Allie of Polka Dot Events
When a couple approaches you to plan a small wedding, what are the top 3 things they should consider right away?
Similarly to a large wedding, the first item is definitely their guest count. Is it small like 10 people? 25? 50? Getting that guest list nailed down will help guide every other decision.
Next is the venue/date - with any small guest count your venue options are wide open (in normal times, of course, not necessarily during a pandemic), so you can look into favorite restaurants, smaller event venues, a park, or even a backyard. With any outdoor event make sure to consider rentals involved - you will need to bring in everything for the dinner and have a tent on hold in case of rain.
Once that’s done and you have a date picked, you can start on other vendors (we recommend photographer and music as soon as you have a date since they tend to get picked up first), but we also recommend telling your guests to hold the date as soon as possible. You can either send a save the date or just tell them to hold it in their calendars, but with a guest count this small it’s important that all of your nearest and dearest can make it!
In your opinion, can a micro wedding be just as fulfilling as a 200 person full wedding?
Absolutely! Of course this does depend on each couple’s priorities and what they’re looking for from the wedding, but there are definitely ways a small wedding can be just as fulfilling if not even better. Besides being able to pick from a lot more venues, here are my top two:
The first is the amount of personal time you get with each guest. I have so many clients that had large wedding and a lot of them have said the wedding was amazing but they wish they had gotten more time with each person. When all of your closest friends and family gather you definitely want that time to catch up and hear about them as well, not just a quick moment of “congratulations, you look great”, and that’s it. With a smaller party you get personal time with everyone and that can be the most fulfilling!
The second is everyone’s favorite- the budget. It takes a lot of money to feed 200 people and pay for their drinks for 5 hours! If your guest count goes down you have a lot more wiggle room for decor, music, photography, etc.
Some people say that the main reason they don’t want a smaller guest count is because they want a killer dance party, and I say you can do both! Have the small dinner and then take everyone out to a club or bar with dancing. You get the big party feel with your absolute favorite people.
Rachel and Danny, Planning by Polka Dot Events
What's your favorite type of location for a small wedding?
I love restaurants! They come with a personality, beautiful decor, and have great lighting, which is such a plus for ambience and can be tough to get right in very large event spaces. A lot of them also have back rooms or upstairs spaces for small groups so you get the privacy without having to buy out the place. There are so many amazing ones to choose from but a few of our favorites are Talula’s Garden, Harp and Crown (comes with bowling!), and Barbuzzo.
Do you have any advice to give to couples who are looking to plan a micro wedding?
The most important part of any wedding is to have fun during the planning process as well as the weekend of, and to think about how your day reflects your personality. With a micro wedding you can really focus on you as a couple and put those great personal touches in, and hopefully keep the stress of tons of planning and RSVPs out of it.
Polka Dot Events have teamed up with a few other wedding professionals to offer a Micro Wedding Full Service Package. Information can be found here.
Jenna and Scout with their bouquets designed by Papertini
As a florist/designer, what type of package would you suggest having for an elopement or small wedding? AKA what would you love to provide for these small weddings?
As someone who actually eloped for her own wedding, I would say if I were to redo my elopement, I would definitely love to have a backdrop and personal flowers (if this is me redoing it again, I would love to have a floral crown and petite bouquet and a cool/funky colorful backdrop).
With that in mind, I would include a backdrop and personal flowers of choice in the package.
How much should a couple expect to spend on the above?
Since the cost of backdrop is most likely shared with multiple couples, a couple should expect about $300-450 on the decor and personal flower portion.
Heather’s bouquet, made by Papertini
Why is it important to have a floral designer over picking up some flowers at the grocery store? What are some personal touches you provide to your clients?
I think this truly is up to personal preference and priority.
Hiring professional means you value your time, and you want to focus on spending it doing what matters most: celebrating your marriage with your beloved. Hiring professional means you do not have to have any stress, you love having polished presentation, high value result; you want to simply show up, have a wonderful time and not worry about setting up and cleaning up.
Doing it yourself means you are confident with your craft/DIY skills, you have the time, are willing to commit to do the work as in to spend it making things yourself, and the value of the final result does not matter as much; it's the effort that matters most. You also are open to cleaning everything yourself after the elopement's over.
I know this answer is less ideal from sales view point, however, it is important to acknowledge that there is no right or wrong answer to this because it really depends on what the client values.
In your opinion, what is the benefit of having a small wedding or eloping over having a full wedding (aside from pandemic-related reasons)?
I answered this from MY own experience, as in why we chose to elope.
1. My husband hates big parties. The idea of throwing a wedding stressed him to no end. So I made the sacrifice and gave him the wedding of his dreams, where he got to wear a bathrobe. Big weddings are just simply not for everybody.
2. Politically safe decision - we do not have to worry about who needs to be invited, not worrying about offending anybody.
3. Cost - one of the very obvious reason.
4. Very little logistics to deal with.
What I definitely wished I had: Pretty wedding pictures with a cool backdrop.
I really, sincerely do wish I had that. While my elopement story is always a fun one to tell, there will always that one corner in my heart that says "I really wish I had...." I think no vow renewal can fill that hole.
So if you want to elope, I highly recommend doing it right so you'll never have the "I really wish I had...."
Alisa officiating the elopement of Sarah and Wilson
Instead of a question and answer format, I had a phone conversation with Alisa and put together what we talked about.
From Alisa: In my opinion, eloping is one of the most romantic things that you can do. Eloping can be especially attractive to people who may have a specific location that is very meaningful to them. This could be where they met, where they had their first date, first "I love yous", where they got engaged, etc. It could be on a mountaintop, under a waterfall, a museum, a corner on a city street, or in their backyard. By choosing a personally significant location to exchange vows, couples tie themselves and their love story to the special spot.
With this type of wedding ceremony, you don't need to ask permission, you can have a pop up ceremony anywhere. You focus on the moment, your promises to each other, and your new life. There's a lot of freedom in eloping.
How can couples have their friends and family members play a significant role in their elopement, even if it is just the two of them?
I recently held a wedding ceremony where it was just the couple and their family members wrote them letters to read to each other after the ceremony. The mother and sister of the bride gifted the couple a bottle of champagne and a wedding cake. If you choose to have a small ceremony or elope, you can celebrate with your family members and friends with a big party at a later date.
Alisa officiating Stephanie and Brandon’s ceremony
What is some advice you’d give to your couples looking to elope:
My advice is to write your own vows. There’s no audience, there’s no one to think about hearing what you’ve written to one another, and there's no performance - just a really special intimate moment of connection. You're only speaking to your partner and no one else.
When I'm writing an elopement ceremony, its the same as any other ceremony. In an elopement ceremony, however, I'm only talking to the couple. I believe that it’s very powerful to have someone in an official capacity to listen to what you say your hopes and dreams are for your future together. Whether it be to have a house, have children, adopt 50 dogs, or live in an Airstream, I reflect it back to you during your ceremony. This is your happy ending, this is your happy future. Go and get that.
People want the things that are said during the ceremony to matter. Through my couples questionnaire and interview process, I am able to draw out a couple's story and what makes them special and reflect that back to them in ceremony in an official capacity. It's a powerful experience to have something you know to be true in your heart, recognized as true out in the world. I look at all of my couples through a lens of love. I genuinely love all of my couples.
One more tidbit of advice: I personally think that the sweetest thing about an elopement is that the two of you are doing it together. You arrive together, you’ve planned this moment together, so get ready together and prepare together. Getting ready together is caring and genuine. It’s one of the sweetest ways that an elopement day looks different than a traditional wedding day. I can imagine the couple growing old together and still helping each other get dressed in the morning, just like on the day they married.
Thanks Allie, Tanti and Alisa for being awesome and sharing your point of view!